March 25

Some things I learned over the weekend.

♥ When the ER doc is really really really concerned and orders you to go to a big city hospital, do not pass go do not collect $200, you do it.

♥ Only you do pass go, stop at home to collect a change of clothes, some knitting, your kindle, and meds because who knows how long you’ll be away. You also call and beg your neighbor to take care of your animals.

♥ Driving to a big city at 3am is easy…no traffic.

♥ Big city hospitals are BIG. And they have to pay for all that space somehow. So they charge $10 to park in a parking garage very far from the ER entrance.

♥ Trying to park in a city parking garage at 3 am is easy. No one is at the ER, so you get the closest space.

♥ The only way to get into the ER is through a metal detector, and 4 policemen. They will search through your purse and question you as to why you have 3 .22 bullets in your purse. They will also ask you if you have anything sharp or pointy in your bags. When you respond knitting needles, they will then proceed to DIG to the very bottom of your knitting bag, sift through your underwear, etc to find them. Your welcome. Because we all know that fat girl granny panties is exactly what does it for 26 year old cops working the graveyard.

♥ Around hour 17 of your 48 hour protection deodorant things get a little dicey, and by hour 19 things are down right whiffy. False advertising UNILEVER.

♥ When you haven’t slept or bathed in over 24 hours, you begin to look like a cast member of The Walking Dead.

♥ When you’ve been awake for 30+ hours, the cold hard floor of an ER room is a lot more comfortable than you think.

♥ When your room is smack dab next to the trauma bay, you hear all manner of things you wish you hadn’t.

♥ Lastly, animals become antsy when humans are gone from home so long. Messes are made to tell you they disapprove.

Moral of the story, when you think your going to be gone longer than 12 hours, be sure to slip some deodorant into your purse.