September 14

I was reminded this past week about words.

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About how helpful and harmful words can be.

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.Flippant words.

Supportive words.

Ugly words.

Happy words.

Sarcastic words.

Caring words.

Angry words.

Funny words.

Words that are never meant to hurt but do.

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How we speak to each other not only impacts people for the moment, but it impacts people for a lifetime.

I’ll never forget 1981.  My dad became a pastor, and we moved to St. Marys, Ohio.

On that first day of school, my very first class was PE.    I didn’t have PE clothes, so I sat on the bleachers the entire time.   Close to the end of the class period, 2 girls came up and one sat on either side of me.

They began chanting to me  “U. G. L. Y.  you don’t have an alibi.   Your ugly.   Your ugly.”  Over and over again.

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First day of school.

Not knowing anyone at all.

No where to turn.

No one to run to.

I remember nothing else from that year.   I don’t remember their names.   I don’t remember their faces, but I do remember their words.


What are YOU saying to others?

How are you saying those words?

How are YOU impacting the people around you?

Do you build each other up?

Are you flippant and sarcastic?

Do you tell people that you care?

Do you tell them in such a way that it will stay with them for the rest of their lives?

Be careful what you say.

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The spoken word can NEVER be taken back, can never be erased.

Never.

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Published by

chocolatechic

Just an average wife, mother, and homeschooling woman

17 thoughts on “September 14”

  1. A lot of truth to what you’ve said here.

    Father God,
    Thank you for helping CC to learn from that brutal experience all those years ago. I pray that she has been able to forgive them and also that they somehow have learned the same lesson. I pray that those girls have recieved not just CC’s forgiveness but also Yours and that they are now living for You.

    I also ask that You would burn these words on our hearts today that we would take care in what we say to others and also in the manner in which we say these words. I pray that Your love would be in every word we speak so that others may see You and want to have You in their lives also.

    Amen

  2. How odd, how weird that you should have this post on your heart today. I woke up this morning after dreaming about the kids I used to go to school with. I wasn’t “popular” either and many kids where perfectly happy to remind me of it in many different, cruel ways. I’m literally setting here at the computer thinking about these kids and wondering where they are – do they ever think of me? Do you think those kids grow up and regret their behavior?

    Anyway, I think you’re L-O-V-E-L-Y CC!

  3. What a horrible thing for them to say! I’ve seen some of your childhood pictures….you were & still are beautiful. As a military brat, I knew the ‘new kid’ routine fairly well. It’s rough and you’re so right….that a few words can set the tone for the whole school year.

    We’re working on our daily conversations with each other and how we say them.

  4. I have enjoyed reading your blog ever since you started it, but this post has to be my favorite. It touched my heart the moment I started reading it. You are so right about everything you said.

    When girls torment others by saying the things like they said to you they are only showing what they truly look like. You are one of the most beautiful people I know and I am thankful the Lord placed you in my life.

    I love you for being my friend. 🙂

  5. What an amazing Sunday post CC, a reminder we all can use. Words so powerful yet often so impulsive.
    BTW… I don’t know what you were like then inside or out but now you are beautifullllll!!!
    Have a great week!!!

  6. I just wanted to let you know you that I’m here squeezing your hand in silent support and understanding, sending forgiveness out to those who have hurt us and asking forgiveness of those we may have inadvertently hurt along the way.

  7. I was never the new kid. I do hope that whoever the new kid might have been that I treated them with kindness and love. Quite frankly, I always loved having new kids, it meant new friends for a girl who never moved.
    I do know that sometimes I have said things that were hurtful. I always ached afterwards knowing it was wrong and knowing that I hurt the other person in a way that shouldn’t have ever happened. Thank you so much for the gentle reminder!
    You are lovely and loved!

  8. How much easier is it to remember the bad things that are said to us instead of the nice stuff – all the more reason to say more nice stuff than not so nice.

    Some of my favorite verses in the Bible deal with the tongue. And it’s true – it can lift up and tear down. We need to practice former rather than the latter.

  9. I agree, words cannot be taken back and must be spoken with care. It is amazing how much we remember the negative things so strongly. I think it affects our self esteem. I have caught up reading your other blogs and enjoyed them so much. Thanks for taking time to blog.

  10. When I was a kid I was overweight. I endured taunting and teasing and occasional physical bullying at school. But one of the things that hurt most was my uncle and (older) cousin. They would chant “fatty, fatty 2-by-4, can’t get through the kitchen door” every time they saw me. I’m almost 38 and it hurts as if it were yesterday.

  11. Never a popular girl, I was often made fun of. I never had the “right” clothes (mine were from second hand hops or from relatives) and never seemed to know how to fit in. A scholarship kid, I attended a private school with very wealthy kids.

    The hurt from their complete and utter rejection is still fresh. It wasn’t just their words, it was the way they treated me. If I sat anywhere near them in the lunch room, they would all stand up and relocate. If I was paired with one of them for a classroom exercise then they would claim that they were suddenly ill and needed the nurse. Family told me that eventually the popular crowd would grow tired of targeting me and move on to someone else. They never did.

    Not once did they miss an opportunity to point out how my very presence repulsed them.

    Sometimes I refer to my blog as a “seat at the popular table” because that is what I always imagined sitting at the popular table to be. Where you count. Where your ideas are recognized. Where you are accepted for who you are.

    It’s probably a great deal better than a seat at the popular table.

    You know?

    My dear blogging friend, my heart goes out to you. Please know that if we had only attended the same school — I know we would have been friends. We probably would have still been made fun of (because we wear the “Hurt me” sign, don’t we?) but we would have had each other.

    Blessings and hugs,
    Lacy

  12. Very touching post. Words are wonderful…or not.

    I have realized as a mom to daughters how hurtful girls can be when they are jealous. Boys too but seems like girls more so. I always tell my girls when this happens that the bad girl/s is just intimidated by their utmost beauty and charm. Sadly they didnt always buy into my words like the do the negative ones.

    There is usually something that triggers the underlying jealousy. Tessa is dealing with this right now as she is trying out for All State Chior tonight. The girl that does not think she will make it on the chior is trying to tear Tessa down prior to the tryouts. To tear Tessa down she has criticized every outfit Tessa has worn the past two weeks. The cutest outfit of them all this girl really made a fuss over. Well, all the other girls when asked snottily by Miss Jealousy commented it was super cute (it was)then she really dug her claws into Tessa.

    Jealousy makes words so ugly. But then words can be kind and heartfelt like at church yestrday.

    We have been gone ALOT this summer. One thing I missed is our church. We were asked multiple times to not move away and how much we were missed. It felt good to be back in the fold. Warm words.

  13. Oh, how I can relate to the horrors of being teased. As a teacher, I try so hard to instill in my students a respect for the feelings of others. It’s difficult because children in packs can be quite brutal.

    Your post gives very wise, very much needed food for thought!

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