Mothering in these last 6 months has been difficult at best, and many times downright hopeless. I was rather unsure whether or not one of the chips would even decide to celebrate Mother’s Day. (they did)
I have wanted to just give up on so many different occasions, but I am just stubborn enough not to. Oh, but I am here to say that there have been days, days that I have wanted to just crawl in my bed, pull the covers over and not come out….ever. Clearly, I am made of stiffer stuff and have slogged through.
I hate slogging. The whole putting one foot in front of the other. Forcing yourself to move in the direction that you really care not to go. Slogging forces you to dig deep within yourself, and the longer you slog, the deeper you have to go. It is depressing, it is mind numbing, and it is not a place that I ever thought that I’d be.
Here I am, armpit deep in it all, everyday wishing that God would just pluck me out, set me in a happy place and I can be done with it all. That isn’t reality. The reality is, is that he is right beside me, covered in the mire, just like I am. Holding my hand, letting me know that He is with me. every. step. of. the. way.