September 10

Yesterday the chips and I begin our first cake decorating class. A locally owned store is offering it from Wilton. I thought that it would be fun for us all to take, and also count as credit for school.

Our teacher didn’t have any clue as to what she had gotten herself into. She is askeered! And I will show you why.

Class hasn’t even started, yet the games have begun.

Here she is pretending to be a bandit with her parchment triangle. Where is her mother? Doesn’t she realize that this is a serious cake decorating class? Didn’t anyone teach her class etiquette? sheesh!

And here sits the boy….so innocently, but wait…if you look closely, his name tag is slapped on upside down. The poor woman SHOULD be askeert!

She showed us how to make Wilton icing. She baked us all cakes, showed us how to use the Wilton cake leveler~~which is totally cool~~ and then showed us how to dam the middle layer so we could torte our cake with vanilla pudding.

Here is my cake, leveled, dammed~~in more ways than one~~ and torted. She made more icing for us, but it was so thick that we could hardly spread it. It was really heavy too.

As you can see, sometimes the dam breaks, and the pudding oozes out. The perfectionist boy wanted a new cake, but I wouldn’t let him.

It ended up ok in the end.

The girl’s icing started out thinner because I thinned it out for her, but it kept pulling away from her cake and she ended up with

She also used almost all the icing, so I was left to make do.

Next week will be better, and I sure hope that the teacher has her game face on, because

We’re commin’ back!

Did you know that Wilton icing has meringue powder in it?

September 9

This morning, as I was bleaching my facial hair,~~yes, I bleach my facial hair, wanna make something of it???~~ I felt like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Rushing around with a huge pocket watch….always checking the time, getting no where. Time goes so slowly when you have hair bleach on your face. You set the timer, piddle around the bathroom, check the timer, clean the tub, check the timer, clean the toilet, check the timer, wash the mirror, check your face to see if the bleach is working…oh…goodie it is!

And can someone tell me, why in the world is my body rebelling? Does it not know that I am a girl? Did it not bare 2 children? Do I not put on the undergarments of a lady? Is pink not my favorite color? Am I not wearing a dress to church? Then why? why?? why??? do I have a mustache?

Speaking of all things girly, and pink, and Victorian, yesterday a Victorian catalog was delivered to me. The daughter and I have ooohed and aahhed over it since it arrived. I think that we have spent about $10K just drooling over that catalog.

This (mom, click on the word this…it is a link) especially caught my attention. The cushions are stuffed with goose down. Can you imagine a goose. down. couch.?  I don’t think you could pry me out of it!  The daughter has informed me that she is going to marry someone rich beyond all measure. She will have a winter home in Hawaii, and a summer home in the English countryside, where she will decorate it will all manor of things Victorian. I am invited to live with her. Hallelujah!

Now, does anyone know of a good young man, age approximately 15, that is godly, and rich beyond all measure that wouldn’t mind the mother-in-law living with them?

September 7

Yesterday the boy just about did me in. Yep, you read correctly. He has it in for me, for sure and for certain. How in the world could such a sweet child do something so utterly horrifying?

First, he went and made a loaf of sour dough bread. I had to smell that baking for a good hour, then there is the cool down time.

I begged for a slice, but no…..

He would have none of the begging. I pleaded with him.

He taunted me all the more. The cruelty, the inhumanity of it all! Then he got really serious!

He began making pie.

Not just one pie.

But 2.

I am a shell of a woman!

To see just how he tortured me, please visit the boy on his blog . He will be putting up the sour dough today. He will also be doing a home made crust tutorial. Let me just say that I have NEVER…EVER…EVER had a crust as flaky as this one. It was divine! Then he will be showing you the tortuous process, for your loved ones, of making pie. Not just one pie, but 2. Oh…the agony!

Do you feel badly for me?

September 6

Warning!!! Warning!!!

I am about to say some bad words. Some horrible, low down, dirty, awful words. Those of you who are shocked, close your eyes. Those of you who are mildly interested, peek through your fingers.

Winter’s coming. There! I said it!

I have been putting it off since the beginning of August when I saw my first flock of geese flying south. Generally, I don’t see them till the middle to the end of September. I think this winter is going to be a cold one.

This tree is the first one that, in my 360º view, changes color first. This is what I saw yesterday. This is the earliest that I have seen it begin to turn.

What do you look for as signs of a cold or hard winter?

September 5

I am and have always been a voracious reader. I will read just about anything that there is to read…the small print on a CD insert, the French/Spanish translations on instructions, or even labels. As my sister and I got older mom and dad began to purchase cereal for us. Cheerios and Raisin Bran only. So, I would sit and read the labels on those. Not for health freak sake, but because I like big words. Did you know that Cheerios do have sugar in them, but not enough to make them taste good. That would explain why I would add a good ¼ cup of sugar to each bowl I ate. I would also read the milk label. I love reading big words, but the pronouncation of them really got me. When I was 16 I remember asking dad what does homogenized (ho-mo-gee-uh-nized) mean. He laughed and laughed. From then on, I made it a practice to learn how to pronounce big words. It doesn’t really matter around here though. You use a big word, and people look at you strange and say “your not from around here, are you?”

Anyway, my daughter has been ill since January. We have begun to read labels for health freak sake. We have done test after test, procedure after procedure, blood draws and surgeries. Everything has proved inconclusive, save her gall bladder being removed. We have one last resort final ditch test to do. It is called Delayed Food Allergy Testing. It is a blood test and the only place in the world that does it is in Florida. So, they had to send me the vial for her blood, and all this information.

The daughter and I were sitting, waiting for her blood to be drawn, so I began reading the booklet that they sent. I got to the page that said “Food Dye Details” Cool! I have always wondered what was in the food dyes. Strangely I had always assumed that it was food coloring. You know what they say about assuming….

So I am reading, and skimming, because I want to be able to get as much information in my brain as I can before they call us back.

Red #2 (Amaranth) ~~ isn’t that a perfume? maybe it is the stuff they put in shortbread cookies??~~ This has been the most widely used dye in cosmetics. At this point I am bored with this definition so I move on.

Red #3 (Erythosin B) — This dye boring…….moving on.

Red #40 (Coal Tar)– FD &C Red Dye #4….coal tar…coal tar…….Coal Tar…COAL. TAR??? I have been eating coal tar!?!?!  Isn’t that the residue left over from coal being burnt? Isn’t that what they put in Head and Shoulders for dandruff? Isn’t that what they put on the roads? I have been eating coal tar??? Oh. My. Word!!! My eyes quickly go back up to the top of the page….not so boring now! Red #3 is a coal tar derivative….. I will never eat anything red again. https://i0.wp.com/i29.photobucket.com/albums/c257/chocolatechic/smilies/dead.gif Or yellow…..

Yellow #6 (Sunset Yellow, FCF, FD&C Yellow 6) — This is a synthetic coal tar found in soft drinks, confectionery and baked goods…….. OH man! Not baked goods……please don’t tell me baked goods….jams..jellies, desserts, dry mixes, meats, cheese not cheese………I love cheese! fish and canned products.

I am very sorry that I ever picked this pamphlet up. I am just very relived that chocolate wasn’t mentioned. I am saved!!!

Did you know you were eating coal tar?

September 4

You know how when you came back from summer break, and teachers just didn’t know what to do with you for the first few days so they made you write a report “How I Spent My Summer Break”? Well, I am going to show you how I spent my Labor Day.

I spent it at my parents gathered around their computer watching this. Be warned, go to the bathroom first, or grab your Depends. You’ll need them.

and this

and

there were more, but I don’t want to take up any more of your time.

How did you spend your Labor Day?

September 3

Yesterday the boy made a pie to take to our church’s annual Labor Day Picnic.

When I was a little girl, my mom was always making pies. Her apple pie is the best I have ever eaten. Always as a special treat, she would make dodo’s.

Dodos are little cinnamon/sugar pie crust goodies that you make with the extra dough.

For the record, I could eat each and every one of these and still want more.  Also for the record, I have to share 14 of these delicious little gems with 2 other people in this household…someone should feel sorry for me.

Happy Labor Day!  I hope you enjoy your day off….unless you are a mom to which you never get a day off, so please just enjoy all the extra work you are having to do, since your husband is most likely enjoying HIS day off.

Do you make home made pie? Have you ever heard of dodo’s?

September 1

Can it already be September? Wasn’t it just 2 weeks ago I was chiseling ice off my car? At this insane, warp speed of time passage, I will turn 80 in 4 months.

The weather has been lovely these last few days, so I thought I would go sit out on the Veranda and try to see if I could get some better pictures of my hummingbirds.

He is looking at me wondering what in the world am I doing. I am wondering what in the world I am doing.

I don’t care what she is doing, I need some more hooch!

Aaahhhhhh….that’s good!

I love this one because you can see almost right through his wing. If I had a better camera, you could see right through his wing. My birthday is next month…….y’all know what is on my list!

About this point, I am reviewing pictures on the screen realizing that they stink, not only in quality, but in lighting as well, so I switched positions.

Much better for lighting composition. You can actually see his color. He isn’t happy that I am here. Little does he know that it is ME filling up his hooch every Monday. Ungrateful wretch!  Hold still so I can take a picture of you!!!

I have been reading some photography books, so I thought that while I was waiting on them to come back for more I would fiddle with the adjustments on the camera. Now that I know what some of them are for. It was taking awhile for the birds to come back, so I thought that I would get a picture of something so much more interesting than birds.

Wow! What a difference a few adjustments on the camera makes. Look how vibrant it all is.

Even better on the close ups too. This is The Lady. She is lighter in color than Squeaker~~the male~~ and also more delicately structured. Squeaker doesn’t like her to drink his hooch. He spends more time chasing her away than drinking himself. She is very skittish, so I am tickled that I was able to get a shot of her.

It is just about time for them to fly south for the winter. So, those of you further south, get out your hooch, and be on the lookout for Squeaker and The Lady. They will be the ones bickering about your hooch.

Take care of them for me.  I will miss them!

Do you feed hummingbirds?