Chocolatechic

Tomorrow is December 1, and I haven’t decorated my house for Christmas yet. I am a Scrooge. I like to wait, because I don’t want to become desensitized to the season, and I want my kids to anticipate it. I remember the anticipation was almost to much for me to bear. The beauty of the lights, the smell of the tree and the fun decorating it. Yep…I am mean like that.

So, I just gotta know. Have you decorated yet?

Do you decorate for Christmas?

Do you decorate a lot?

Do you put lights outside?

Does your house look like Tim Taylors?

Do you use a real or fake tree?

Do you decorate every room in the house?

Details ladies. I must know!

I am about to admit something to you, that I haven’t admitted to very many people. Actually, only 2-3 know this.

I am a closet Trekkie. I had a crush on Captain James T. Kirk. He was strong, in control, fought for the weak, and upheld the law. I love listening to Scotty’s brogue. I totally, thoroughly and happily revel in Bone’s sarcasm, and I wanted to be calm, cool, and logical like Spock.

I have created a Trekkie too. The boy just loves Sci-Fi, but really loves Star Trek. From the library, he has gotten the entire season 2, and in every spare moment, he is watching it. Sadly, I am sitting there right along with him too. Taking  in all the hokeyness and loving every minute of it.

Last Saturday, Superman steam cleaned the carpet. He only had time to do half of it, so he finished it the other night.

After supper, the guys wanted to watch TV, but the carpet was still wet. Desperate, they came up with a solution.

Trash bags. They invited me to join them, but there is no way I would sit on a trash bag. Not even for Star Trek.

I sat here at my desk, watching secretly and comfortably in my chair.

Can you guess why I wanted to be like Lt. Uhura?

Fast forward 3 years

Imagine, if you will that you don’t like bugs.  You could even say that you prefer mice to bugs.  Some are tolerable, but you especially dislike spiders. I know that this will not be a stretch for some of you.
Now imagine if you will it is a Sunday morning. You are sitting in Sunday School. The room is quiet except for the teacher. ( Does any of this sound familiar?) You are busy listening, glancing down at your Bible and Sunday school book, and just for hypothetical sake, you happen to see something moving on your dress. Your brain instantly registers it is a spider.

Do you…

1. Calmly squish it between your fingers.
2. Control yourself just enough, making a quiet “eww it’s a spider” sound and brush it away, or
3. Give into your primal urges, scream bloody murder, scare the teacher and the rest of you class over a spider that is the size of a pencil eraser.
4. Decide that you will never go to Sunday school again in that classroom.

Imagine if you will that you do not like mice. Yes, they are small, yes they are furry, but they have beady little eyes and a long tail, and they leave little gross gifties for you to find everywhere they have been. They procreate more than rabbits and spread all sorts of nasty disease.

Now, imagine if you will, that you attend a church that is in the middle of nowhere. A corn field sits in front of it, and on one side. Pasture surrounds the rest of the church. It is the middle of winter three years ago, and you are sitting in Sunday School, listening to the teacher. She pauses, looking at the floor directly beside you. She quietly but urgently says “CC, don’t move.” Of course, you look where she is looking only to see a mouse, scurrying directly to your feet, and begin to climb up your foot.

Do you…

1. Kick it off, like it is no big deal?
2. Jump up and and try to stomp it?
3. Give into your primal urge and scream bloody murder, scaring the teacher and all who are in your class, never putting your feet back on the floor for the rest of the lesson?

Yesterday was the last of our cake decorating classes. As much as I have enjoyed them, I much more enjoy laying on the couch all afternoon doing nothing. Cause I am lazy like that.

This last day was decorating a wedding cake, or a stacked cake, or a tiered cake of some sort. Mine needed more icing on the sides. My only excuse is that I was icing the cake at 25% brain power, and was 75% asleep.

Here it is, in all of its crumby glory.

Here is the boy’s. I think he did a great job.

His icing was thin as well. We need to work on that.

I really wish I could say that this cake was mine, but it isn’t. The dear woman who sits next to me in class, and has come over for me to tutor made this cake. It was the best cake there.

She did an outstanding job. I am so proud of her!

So, now I can be in the cake business. I need a name for it. Give me some ideas.

Yesterday was a very busy day for me. The girl and I went shopping. I baked 8 cakes, I took the girl to and from the animal shelter where she volunteers, and I know I did something else…I had to have. I was ready to drop at 5 last night.

So, in an effort to keep things real around here, I am going to expose myself totally, completely, and irrevocably, and horrifically.

For those that know me well, please do not faint.

I left my kitchen a mess when I went to bed. Shocking, I know, but there it is.

Rarely…rarely…rarely do I do this, but, here it is. In all of its awfulness.

Unwashed dishes, unwashed counters, unwashed stove. Where did that towel come from?

Dirty table, things left out. It is just almost to much to bear. What is on that chair? Sigh…You know what I will be doing today.

Please tell me that I am not the only one who goes to bed with a dirty kitchen. Please.

Thanksgiving was filled with family and food. Family that came in from everywhere.

The sister came in from Missouri.

An aunt from near Springfield.

A cousin all the way from Washington.

Other family from down Xenia way.

This aunt and uncle left a big hole at our table. We all missed you.

Who is this? I haven’t seen him in so long.

The cooks were many.

There was mom,

dad,

the sister, the boy and myself.

The girl offered moral support.

So did the boy.

I think they were hungry. I was.

I could have eaten this all by myself! Everyone was lucky I held myself back.

Finally the food was ready.

Green bean casserole with extra FFO’s.

We can not forget the best part of the meal.

Nope. Just can’t. There were even some Schulers donuts, but they were hidden.

Before.

During.

Who is this again? I think he just crashed our party.

After.

As family began to leave, and the house got quieter and more still, and I began to get more and more sleepy, I praised God for my family and just how blessed I am to have them all.

Black Friday.   I don’t participate.   To many crowds, to many horror stories of hateful women, and all that getting up way to early!  Nope.  I value my sanity way to much, and for those of you questioning my sanity, it is there…somewhere, I think.

So, my burning question for the day is do you?   Do you sacrifice your sanity for the stupendous sales on Black Friday?  Do you crawl out of bed at an ungodly hour to save $10?  Do you wear your jammies to the store as my hair stylist does?  Did you get good deals today?  Share them, I need to know if all this getting up early, standing in lines most of the day, and fighting off  53 other women is worth it.

French Fried Onions. What is it about onions, a bit of flour and oil that make me ga-ga over French Fried Onions? Today I will be making green bean casserole to take to my mom’s tomorrow for Thanksgiving. I always add extra FFO’s. Then, if no one is looking, I will eat the biggest one that is left in the canister. You do it too, I just know it. I can not be the only one that looks for the biggest one, or the one that has a bunch stuck together, or big ones with tons stuck together, and if I can’t find one, I will peel it off the top of the casserole. Sometimes, I will eat a whole handful. They are as bad as Lays potato chips. You just can’t eat one. It is impossible.

I will not be posting tomorrow, because I will be busily spending time with family, and well…so will you. So, have a great Thanksgiving. May your mashed potatoes have no lumps, your pumpkin pie have loads of cool whip, and your green bean casserole have extra FFO’s.

The girl and I went to a jewelry party my mom had last week. We had tons of fun ogling high fashion jewelry, and eating…ok, I had the fun eating, she had the fun ogling.

See, she is having tons of fun. Can’t you tell? Neither can I.

What I truly would like to point out to you is this picture.

I want it. I want it bad! This picture was a wedding gift for my great great super old relatives on my dad’s side, and it is dated April 1, 1887.

It belongs in my house. My house is about as old as that picture, my house is about as old as the treadle (it was theirs too) that sits in it, my house is about as old as the hills, and deserves to have such a lovely painting hanging on its walls. My house longs for this painting. Sometimes I hear it crying in the night, lonely for the painting to hang on its wall.

I think it would look absolutely gorgeous above this. I’d like to think that great-great super old granny sat at this machine, with the picture above her. She would look at it as she sewed. She would think of all her descendants, and wish that her great-great super young granddaughter to have them both, because she would appreciate them.

It is a sad, sad thing to hear your house crying in the night. I need to make it feel better.

Maybe some chocolate would help.