Chocolatechic

Some people tell me that I don’t realize JUST how good I have it.

I know how good I have it, but who wants to admit that they are spoiled???

Are you spoiled?

My sister tells me that my nephew has acquired a hamster.

The boy has had 3.

The first one that we got, was so cute. We got the aquarium, wheel, food and some bedding along with him…..for free. Now I know just why the woman was so eager to hand me over all those things WITH the hamster.

When we got Coal the hamster, the boy was so excited. He held it and petted it and loved it….till nightfall. Bedtime arrived and we put Coal to bed. Only, we weren’t aware that hamsters are nocturnal, and they love to run on their squeaky wheels ALL. NIGHT. LONG! The boy wasn’t getting much sleep, so Coal came to live in our bedroom. The noise was awful, so we got him a plastic wheel. Wouldn’t you know it, hamsters love to CHEW plastic wheels, rendering them unusable. Coal lived to a ripe old age of 9 months.~~most likely due to all the plastic he ingested, and the death wishes I chanted every night because of the noise~~ On the sad day of his passing, the boy brought him to me…mostly stiff. Teary eyed~~have you seen that boys eyes? They are blue, a brilliant blue and those lashes…it is criminal! When tears form, the word no vanishes from my brain~~he asks me “can you make him live?” It had just so happened that I had watched some animal rescue show where some small animal was almost dead. They put heat lamps on it, and did CPR.

So, I did what any mom would do with a teary blue eyed boy looking up at her. I got a towel, a lamp and laid Coal under the heat, thinking the entire time, please let this work, please let this work. That seemed to help for awhile, then Coal relapsed, so…. I swallowed hard and performed CPR all the while the boy is watching hopefully. He died within minutes. Hey! I never claimed to be a miracle worker.

Butter arrived at our house weeks later. It was at this point in time that I insisted that the rodent live in the boys room, regardless of noise. Junior lived to a ripe old age of 1 and a half. Junior caught a cold in his eye. I taught the boy how to wipe Butter’s eye so he could see. Something terribly wrong happened in the night and Butter lost his eye. I couldn’t let him live like that. It was just gross. I briefly considered bludgeoning it to death, but I was fearful of the nightmares that would ensue…him squealing at me from my dreams…..no, it just wouldn’t work.   So I did the next best thing. I called my mother, but she didn’t have any other ideas. There was only one option left. I had to put it out of it’s misery. So, we all said goodbye. I wrapped him up in an old dish towel, and secured it with a rubber band. I took him outside, laid him on the ground and shot him with my husband’s 9mm. Yes, this gentle chocolate loving, beautiful children having, house repairing woman is a murder.

Butter Junior came to us weeks later. By this time we are total pros at hamster parenting. We had a ball for him to run around in during the day…..hoping against hope that it would wear him out so that he would sleep at night…, we oiled the wheel, and had found the perfect bedding for him, and made toys out of sticks. Junior was a Houdini though. We had to put bricks on top of his cage so he couldn’t escape. He had other plans. Junior made his escape one night, and he was never seen again. The boy was devastated.  Till one morning the husband had to go to the basement to prime the well pump. As he was squatting, waiting for the pump to prime, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a mouse.  Following quickly on the mouse’s heels was Junior. I’d like to be able to say that Junior brought all his hamster/mouse babies back to see us, but it was not to be. I guess he had heard about the murder.

So, Andra, take a pet rescue class, brush up on your CPR skills, make sure that you have plenty of oil for squeaky wheels, get a gun, and if your hamster runs away……let him go! He will be much happier, and so will you! I promise! Trust me on this one!

Did you have a pet growing up?

I love watching my children watching TV.

They are so engrossed that they don’t even mind that I am taking their picture.

What movie do you suppose they are watching? What has them so enraptured?
I will tell you at the end of the day.

This week, we are replacing our sliding patio door. I think it needs it, don’t you?

I’m just really going to miss the eastern United States. Can you see it? This is about the only spot to see clearly out the window.

Pastor Grey, who is replacing it for us, is such a sweetheart. He fixed my wall going down to the dungeon. He did a wonderful job. He is also the pastor of a local church. He just had his knee replaced in June.  I think he is getting around very well.

It’s out. Looks like someone needs to harvest some herbs…..

I had no idea that wiring was going under there. See how old it is? YIKES!!! Pastor said that the reason that the door broke was because the man that put the other one in, just shimmed it up under there, and that it was sinking between the shims.

So, he put something solid under.

See that ghastly linoleum? I need something new. Maybe in 20 years it will be worn out enough to replace it. As it is, it is in wonderful shape and would outlast a nuclear blast.

Hello beautiful!!!

Do you like your kitchen linoleum?

My children think it is outrageously funny to subject me to movies that I deem stoopid! We will be watching a movie and I will say “this movie is so stooooopid”, and they will giggle, roll their eyes and giggle some more.

When it is movie night or they are bored with our limited selection, they will suggest that we go rent a movie. They will do more giggling and suggest any number of movies that will obtain some sort of reaction from myself. Here they are listed in no particular order…

• Kicking and Screaming
• Napoleon Dynamite~~although I did think it was funny~~
• Cats and Dogs
• Nacho Libre
• most, but not all animated movies~~although I do love Finding Nemo because if we were to change my name it would be Dori
• anything with Will Ferrel

Last night they asked if they could go rent a movie. They were bored. We had been discussing Pirates of the Caribbean so, I figured that they were going to get one of them.

Nope.

I couldn’t have been so lucky! They brought home Flushed Away. A stooooooooopid animated movie. They handed me the movie and stood back, awaiting my reaction. I didn’t disappoint. So we watched it….all throughout the movie I would mutter “this is such a stooopid movie”. ~~ A few parts were cute, but not enough to reverse my “2 thumbs stooopid” rating. ~~ They giggled, rolled their eyes, giggled some more, and agreed with me….bad choice of movie.

Next time, “I” choose the movie. It will be Life is Beautiful for the boy, and a Rambo movie for the girl. That’ll teach them!

After said movie, the girl went and took her shower. No, she didn’t kick the faucet, but a full 1 liter bottle of shampoo fell on her foot. As I carried her to the couch, she whispered in the smallest voice “your my superhero”. This from the girl who maybe once every 2 months tells me she loves me voluntarily, this from the girl who was soooooo mad at me yesterday because I wouldn’t allow her to wear heels to church, this from my sweet baby….. ok, no Rambo for her.

How has your kiddo melted your heart recently?

Thursday, whilst in the shower, the girl kicked the faucet. She really bruised the top of her foot. It looked bad. I was hoping that she had learned a lesson~~don’t kick the faucet~~.

Nope!

Friday evening, whilst in the shower, the girl kicked the faucet again……with the same foot……in the same place. Yesterday morning, she couldn’t put any weight on it at all, so I showered…not kicking the faucet…and got ready to take the girl to the local doc-in-the-box as our doc isn’t open on Saturdays. The boy called as I was getting ready to ask me to bring him some papers, for work.

We hopped….ok, she hopped, I held on to her…to the car. Someone had been in my car. Everything that could be opened was. Luckily, there is absolutely nothing in my car of value, unless you think that 2 canvas recycle bags and 1 blue plastic IKEA grocery bag is valuable.

When I dropped the papers off to the boy, I asked him if he had been in my car. Nope. But someone had been in his. His door hadn’t been shut tight, and his things had been rifled through. sigh!

So, we went to the doc-in-the-box…yes, they do X-rays, but sorry, no one is here to work them, you’ll have to go to the ER. big sigh!! Over to the ER, I hoist the girl on my back to carry her in. I am so very glad that no one saw me, save the receptionist and she had the decency to hide her laughter, as this fat swollen woman piggybacked a 110 pound girl right past all the wheelchairs.

X-rays confirmed that her foot isn’t broken, just bruised pretty badly.

Back home at 11 am, I wake the husband up. “Go see if anything has been stolen out of your car.” I am good for waking the husband up in a variety of ways, and they all have the same affect. He is instantly awake. Once I woke him up chambering a round into our 9mm right next to his bed. Being an Army man, he knew that sound. He is so good to be fully awake in these instances. Once, when he worked 3rd shift, I was cooking lunch and yelled “Fire…fire….fire!!!” You’d think that being a mother of 2 little ones I would be calm enough to know what to do with a fire on the stove, but no…I froze. Every molecule in my body froze, and all I could do was scream. He is so good to be fully awake and come to my rescue. He learned very quickly to wear clothing to bed. Since he learned that lesson so well, he was able to come right down stairs to see that yes, indeed, someone had been in his car too.

So, today, the cars are locked, the house is locked, and the girl didn’t kick the faucet.

Do you lock your cars, even when you are home?

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu

So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
I’d like to stay and taste my first champagne

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye — Goodbye!

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye!

Goooooood byyyyyyye!

Today ends an era. The Donna Young forum is being deleted. Changing my home page was never so hard to do. This place has been a wonderful place. Supportive, loving, encouraging, and fun. These ladies are sisters of my heart. They have helped me through many rough spots when no one else was there for me.

To the wonderful ladies at the DY forum…..I love you all!

Do you have  sisters of the heart?

For as long as I can remember, mom has been a furniture rearranger, and I am kindred spirits with her in this matter. So when ma called and asked us to help her rearrange some I jumped at the chance to rearrange. Dad has had shoulder surgery, and mom ~~in the words of the locals~~ is “down in her back”.

I rearrange. I get bored, so I must rearrange at least 3-4 times a year. At least I did, till we moved here. This beloved house of mine is not built for rearranging, but it can and has been done. My men roll their eyes and try to find something…..anything else to do when I say to them “hey guys, I have a great idea…” They know what is coming next. Poor souls. They move couches, TV stands, book shelves, computer desks, chairs, and lamps, school desks, sewing desks, and beds. Sometimes they end up moving it back again. They are so good to me.

When I am old and gray, I will call my boy up and say to him “hey son, I have a great idea…” and he will sigh, and come to my house and move furniture for me.

Do you rearrange your furniture more than once a year?

Eve…Eve….Eve!

Girl! What were you thinking? An apple??? Was it worth it?? Maybe……maybe a pan of iced brownies, but an apple?

For that apple, today I am doing laundry, yet again……sigh!

Someone commented a few days ago that they would come walk with me at sunset, so I am offering you an incentive. Come walk with me and we can walk arm in arm singing Sunrise, sunset…sunrise, sunset…swift fly the years…

from Fiddler on the Roof.

Speaking of Fiddler on the Roof, did you know that I was in our college production of Fiddler on the Roof? I was Hodel, the second daughter. My boyfriend at the time played Tevye. His brother was the butcher.  I also was in Our Town.   Those were the days.

I have done plays, skits for church’s and ladies groups. I love to act.

I have always been self conscious. How do others view me? Are they looking at my chin whiskers, do they see the beginning of a zit on my forehead, do I have a booger hanging out of my nose, are they watching my fat jiggle when I walk? But when I act……ahhhh all that is forgotten. The sheer joy of pretending to be someone else, to make others laugh or cry. That is pure bliss. It has always been something that I have enjoyed more than reading, more than knitting, and almost………..almost more than chocolate!

Were you in any productions in high school or college?